Open to Life

That was the attitude Travis and I took - we weren't trying to get pregnant but we also knew there was a small chance we might.

And as my temperature never went down on my NFP chart I started to suspect that our little "open to life" bit meant that there was another life. And I'll be honest, I was a little overwhelmed at the thought of 3 under 3.

But after I took the ept, I sat on my bed and told God He would have to provide. How else could we do it? Looking at the chart I felt that He wanted this baby to exist. (Read: The conception was not miraculous, but well beyond the normal.)

The way that He has provided since that positive test has been amazing.

- We thought we owed our midwife $500 for Bennet's birth. She said insurance paid for everything plus $3.20, which she's crediting to this new baby.
- Someone decided that our hand-me-down sofa just wouldn't do and bought us a new one, one that is much easier to get out of when you're 9 months pregnant or holding a sleeping newborn.
- He made it abundantly clear which mini-van to buy.
- An anonymous donor gave us $500 via my spiritual director. When I returned home with the gift our car insurance bill was in the mail, for $480.
- A friend of the family bought us a new laptop, something we'd been trying to (unsuccessfully) save for. This laptop helps Travis with his master's program, half of which is online, and me with my very part time, work from home job.

This abundance of gifts reassured me that everything would be okay. God is faithful, and He had chosen to bless Travis and I in an awesome way - with another child.

This whole experience has taught me is that fertility is a gift - a great gift - and I will not curse God that He has given it to me. I will try to not become anxious or troubled or angry with God that I am pregnant again. I will not be afraid of having a baby 2 weeks after Bennet's 1st birthday. My vocation is to be a wife and mother, and clearly God has some great plans for my sanctification. 

Okay, honestly, sometimes I do worry about it all but I then run through the amazing ways that God has blessed us through the heroic generousity of others and His clear guidance and I feel reassured. 

It's like what Sara Groves said,

God has been faithful, He will be again.  His loving compassion knows no end.  All I have need of His Hand will provide.  He's always been faithful to me.