She's a surprise. Unplanned. A little bit of an "oops," with a touch of "oh no" thrown in. We are excited, we just can't think about money, and how tired I am, and how Lydia stresses me out, and how sometimes I feel like such a failure of a mom.
Just to clarify, so that we don't give NFP a bad name, we weren't charting. I was too tired and stressed out. Plus, when your baby has crawled into the bathroom, crying because you left her with her toys so you could pee alone, and is standing up, clinging to your pants, well, it's a little awkward to check your fertile signs.
For awhile I thought I was pregnant but I was in denial. When nursing began to hurt again, I said it was because Lydia was biting (even though she really wasn't). And when I had some light spotting and then no period I told myself there was no way it was implantation bleeding. I kept feeling like I was coming down with the flu but never did and I just figured it was because I was drinking orange juice that things never got bad. But when my milk supply continued to decrease and Lydia became hungrier and crabbier, well, I couldn't ignore it any more.
January 11th I bought an ept and took it that night, figuring that if I was pregnant I was far enough along to show up at night. And it did, but faintly, so I told myself I would take the test in the morning to be sure. Monday morning I called Travis, barely awake, and left this message, "I'm pregnant. And I'm going back to bed."
Besides Travis, the first person to know I was pregnant was Ginger, our insurance company contact. (They will pay for a home birth!)
I'm 10 weeks pregnant now. The due date is September 2nd. Lydia will be 16 months old. I think I want another pineapple upside down cake for a birthday cake. That was so good.
So there's been some morning sickness. And I'm already noticing shortness of breath when I dance with Lydia. And my already fat belly is bulging more, but now I guess I just look pregnant instead of fat. *shrug* My back hurts. But so far things with this pregnancy are a lot easier than with Lydia. But I don't really feel preggo yet.
PS I referred to the baby as a "she" and I'll probably do that throughout the pregnancy, but we're not finding out the sex. Just so you know!